by Jane Hoskin
Got your eye on someone at work? Whether
you're dating one of your colleagues, or you're just flirting with the idea,
here's our 10 tips for getting it on without getting the sack
Another day, another rumour that workmates Robert Pattinson
and Kristen Stewart have mistaken the Twilight set for the back of the bike
sheds. 'They're like a couple of love-struck teenagers,' says a source.
Not really a surprise, is it? Co-stars are always getting it
on, thanks to their outrageous prettiness and the long hours they spend together
on set.
Even for us civilians, working together has become the
second-most popular way to meet a lover (jointly with online dating; first place
goes to 'through friends').
But is it wise to hook up when you share a boss and a canteen?
What if you break up, or your boss disapproves? It's a minefield, but tread
carefully and you can make it work. Here's how.
1. Leave the lovey-dovey stuff
at home
You're paid to do a job, not to make goo-goo
eyes over the computer monitors.
Bosses tend to frown upon workmate relationships, not because
they're heartless tyrants, but because your flirting can embarrass and irritate
your colleagues. It also distracts you from the job you're paid to do.
It's especially important to keep your ogling under wraps if
you work in a public place. You're the public face of your employer. Don't harm
their reputation by groping your boyfriend-stroke-workmate's bum while you're
stacking shelves.
2. Keep your rows out of the office
Save the spats for the bus stop. Like the lovey-dovey stuff,
tension between you will distract you from your work and annoy your workmates.
If you're going through a rocky patch, make an extra effort to stay focused on
your job. It'll help you stay sane (and employed).
Don't be tempted to go crying to the girls at work about any
problems you're having. Of course you want their support, but you're opening the
gossip floodgates.
3. Don't try to hide it
There's no point trying to keep a work romance under wraps.
Someone's bound to suss you out, and the rumours will soon start to spread.
Better to be out in the open. But be prepared to re-think the relationship or
your job if your boss objects.
4. Beware of email monitoring
Many companies keep tabs on emails and phone calls. Yes it's
an invasion of your privacy, but it's a fact of life in most workplaces. They
pay your wages; they've got you by the htmls.
If you need to let your bloke know 'Fox & Hounds at 8:00,' use
your mobile. If you need to let him know that the sight of him is making your
ladybits burn, for God's sake use telepathy.
5. Get some personal space
Constant togetherness sounds like heaven when you first get
together, but give it a few months (well, days) and you'll be desperate for
space.
If you're dating a bloke from work, think very carefully
before moving in together at home. Seeing his face 24/7 will make you want to
strangle him, and not in a good way.
6. Don't talk shop in bed
Your pillow should not be privy to office gossip or
confidential information. Worktalk also makes for really boring after-sex chat.
7. Never date your boss or underling
Dating a professional equal is complicated enough, but it's
asking for trouble to go out with your boss or a bloke who calls you boss.
You'll be open to tittle-tattle about favouritism, and the power imbalance will
cause problems in your relationship - even if you're convinced it won't.
8. Have an exit strategy
You won't want to think about this, but you'll need to
consider what might happen if you split. It would definitely affect your work
relationship. Having an ex-couple in the office also creates a nightmare
atmosphere for everyone else.
9. Wedding bells could mean trouble
Many companies ban married couples from working together,
mainly to avoid accusations of nepotism. If you're serious enough about your
workmate to want to marry him, check company policy first. You may have some
tough decisions to make.
10. Married men: just say no
Having a fling with a married workmate, or having an affair at
work if you're married or living with someone, is plain daft. You face all the
potential problems above, plus the danger of destroying other people's lives -
and of ending up unemployed. Never worth it for a few nights of naughtiness.
©ivillage -
